My New Year resolution

At first,

My New Year resolution was to be heartless,

Act like everything is ok,

Never feel anything,

And most of all,

Not put myself in a position to be hurt.
Keep calm,

Hold back,

Act like nothing affects me,

Off course I could be likened to a stature,

But who really cares?
It is my life,

My decision,

My New Year,

But was it really new?

Act like someone am not,

Living in the shadows of my past,

Trapped in this haunted house of mistakes,

Wrapped in the straitjacket of my hurts.
My plan was to pretend like I didn’t have a heart, but I did have one,

But that’s not a fact,

More like my fight,
To whom this may concern,

This is the last place you need to find yourself,

Awake if you are in bed with this decision

Because, in my own opinion,

I wasn’t in the New Year yet,

I still held on to my past hurts, mistakes and failures,

Maybe I should have just stayed in whatever year I failed in.

But if I am to live in this year,

Then I have to make resolutions that include my heart.

AT LEAST